Andi Eigenwomann: Daughter of the Country's Super Bitch

As promised, I will be featuring Twitter Parody Superstars in my blog. We are now on our third week.

She's a self-proclaimed QUEEN of EVERYTHING. She's young. She's bitchy. She's slutty. She's crazy. You may call her ANDI...short for anlANDI. Formerly Agua Bendita then Ruffa Chuvenezz, she's now one of the countries most promising yet obnoxious starlets. She's the daughter of Philippine showbiz's super bitch (shut up! kasi ikaw, bitch ka lang), she's none other than Andi Eigenwomann (@andieigenwomann).


ON COMING UP WITH A PARODY ACCOUNT...

Q: What made you decide to come up with a parody account?

Andi: Well, I decided to come up with a parody account nung nadiscover ko sina @krizzy_kalerQUI, @superstarmarian, @sharon_cuneta13 tapos kay Sharon, nadiscover ko naman dun sina @jobertsucaldito, @angellokring (ngayon si @ruffaguchenez), @BUNGALNGAL (ngayon si @JuanaXChange), @lovipoekimo, at iba pa. Nakakuha akez ng inspiration dahil natawa akez sa mga tweets nila (Sharon and The Beauty Queens) kay Cathy whatever.

I was Khloe Karambola (Khloe Kardashian) in the 1st place pero puhrang waley akez maisip na joke o trip tungkol kay Khloe at sa Hollywood. Next, I was Ruffa Chuvenezz pero in the past few dayzz, puhrang waley akelz makuhang update tungkol kay Ruffa kaya hitey, in the end, si Andi Eigenwomann na akelz. but whatever happened, look at me, MAGANDA FARIN AKEZ!

Q: What is your edge over other parody accounts? 

Andi: EDGE? Well, 18 years old akez. #KAHLOHKAH hahahahahaha. Well, I don’t see them as rivals but rather mga ka-Mars din, especially @ruffaguchenez/@ruffagucherez, @nadzmontenegro, @Queen_Barubal, @jobertsucaldito, @JuanaXChange, and of course @DMajaDERAtoo.

Q: Is it hard to maintain a parody account?

Andi: Yes kasi nalilito akez pag parehong naka-open ang personal at parody account ko. Kelangan todo-ingat. Vuhkuh kasi mabaligtad ang dalawang characters ko. You know, as in AGUA (personal) akez sa parody account ko or BENDITA (parody) akez sa personal account ko.

Tsaka marami rin akez ginagawa ditey sa home sweet home ko noh. You know naman, alaga-alaga my baby Ellie, kamot-kamot my kefyas to the pictures of Zayn and Chris Evans #KAHLOHKAH, S&M (hahahahahaha) at iba pa.

Q: How do you separate your actual self from your alter ego?

Andi: Puhrang waley pinagkaiba ang true-self at ang alter ego ko. Pareho kasi kaming maganda. CHOS! Hahahahahaha. Well, ang pinagkaiba lang siguro eh mas maayos at mas matino ang true-self ko (since may mga hot and cute akong followers dun at kelangan kong maging maayos at vuhkuh ma-turned off sila sakin. #ANSAVEH) habang taklesa, barubal, wild, horny, at super-maingay ang alter-ego ko (wow. puhrang ganun lang akez datey). In short, Agua akez sa personal account ko habang Bendita/Veronica/Sam naman akez sa parody account ko.

Anyway, just like what I said, dapat todo-ingat. Vuhukh mabaligtad ang characters ko.

Q: What word best describes you as a "parody account"?

Andi: Like my BIO, I’m..................................the QUEEN of everything: BEAUTY Queen, SOSY Queen, CANGCANGAN Queen, TOMADORA Queen, GIMIKAN Queen, fuwede ring DRAG Queen. KAHLOHKAH!

HER PERSONAL VIEWS AND OPINIONS...

Q: Are you a Kapuso, a Kapamilya, or a Kapatid?

Andi: 50% Kapamilya and 50% Ka-Hollywood. #ANSAVEH

Q: What is your favorite TV show?

Andi: Most of the TV shows sa Star World, JackTV, anything American and Canadian. CHOS! #InternationalLEVELS. Mapa-America's Next Top Model, 90210, Just For Laughs, pati nga WWE. Hahaha hahaha. Syemfre, hindi magfafahuli ang.........ABS-CBN!

Q: Given a chance to meet a certain celebrity, who would it be?

Andi: Chris Evans and my vavy voy Zayn Malik! ZANDI FOREVER! Ahihihihihi <3 =* #KinikiligSiAndi


Q: If you could date/marry someone from Philippine showbiz, who would it be? Why?

Andi: Gerald Anderson, Kevin Fowler, Carlo Romero, Slater Young, Paulo Avelino, Matteo Guidicelli, Tom Rodriguez, Billy Crawford, Jhong Hilario (don’t judge me), Enrique Gil, Bryan Termulo, Alex Castro, Coco Martin, Markki Stroem, Callum David!!!! Sali na rin natin sina Chris Hemsworth, Channing Tatum, Ryan Gosling, Bernardo Velasco, Chris Evans and THE ONE AND ONLY............Zayn Malik. <3

(SYEMPRE, ISA SA KANILA! ALANGAN NAMANG LAHATIN KO SILA. CHOS!)

Q: What are your pet peeves? What makes you tick?

Andi: Yung mga feeling maganda, pacute pero chaka naman ng fez, mga kerengkereng. Yung puro harot nang harot. Konting kilala lang, lovelife, lovelife, puro na lang lovelife. Crush, crush. Fling, fling. Parang PBB Teen Edition. Mas malala pa kung haluin yun lahat. Ang kapal ng mukha n'un. Nakuha pang lumandi, mukha namang Agta. HAY NAKEZ! UMIINIT NA ANG REGLA KOH! MAY DYSMENORRHEA NA TULOY AKOH!

Q: What is your view on the Cyber Crime Prevention Act?

Andi: Well, I thought it was OK in the first place dahil kinicriminalize ang cyberbullying, hacking, spamming, pornography, etc. na, much like RH Bill, wala akez fuckez dyan before pero nung umabot na sa puntong online libel, HAY NAKEZ! NAG-INCREDIBLE HULK NA AKEZ NUN! GRAVEH TALAGURLS! THAT IS SO CYBER-OA! The CYBERworld is my tamabayan. Kung di lang dahil sa CYBERworld na itey, wala akez libangan pag nabobored akez lalo na pag hapontastic, wala akez nakikilalang mga random people in and out of the country, hindi kez nakilala ang mga ka-Mars ko, at hindi ko rin makausap, maokray randomly ang mga celebs. Kung walang CYBERworld, ang boring ng buhay.

Q: What is your view on the RH Bill?

Andi: Puhrang wala akez fuckez dyan. Nano-nosebleed akong sagutin yan. Fuzz muna ako dyan.


HER LEGACY AND MESSAGE TO FANS & HATERS...

Q: Any message to your followers/fans?

Andi: To my followers: MAGANDA KAYONG LAHAT DAHIL MAGANDA RIN AKELZ!

Q: What is your message to your bashers/haters?

Andi: Well, puhrang wala akez muhsyadong bashers/haters pero eto lang masasaveh ko:

"Don't confuse me with your fez, haters. You’re not beautiful so stop thinking that in your twisted, psychotic, delusional, little head."

Ayyyyyy kay @anneKURTISsmith fala yun. hahaha hahaha.

Q: Should parody accounts continue to exist? Should they be banned?

Andi: OF COURSE NOT! NO FUHRODY ACCOUNT, NO FUN! Di bale nang maraming FUHRODY ACCOUNTS ang Twitter, wag lang mga Friendster jejemons at fantards! MABUHAY ANG MGA FUHRODY ACCOUNTS!

Q: If you could ban a certain parody account on Twitter, who would it be? Why?

Andi: None. Kasi mga KA-MARS KO SILA!

Q: Will you reveal your true identity before the world ends?

Andi: Of course, I am Andrea Nicole Guck Eigenwomann.

Q: Will Twitter be the same without you?

Andi: YouTwitter? Vuhkuh kasuhan ng YouTube ng flagiarism ang Twitter. CHOS! Hahaha hahaha. Pero............ay huwag na lang. Alam mo na yan. Hahaha hahaha.

Q: Do you plan to open an account on Facebook or Google+ in the future?

Andi: No, no, NO!

Q: How do you want Twitterverse to remember you?

Andi: Dat I am ALWAYS VEAUTIFUL.......at crush na crush ko si baby Zayn. VAGAY NA VAGAY KAMING DALAWA! #chos


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I personally would like to thank Andi Eigenwomann for this once in a lifetime Q&A opportunity. More power!

If you can't get enough of Andi Eigenwomann, follow her on Twitter @andieigenwomann.

Til then...

xoxo Nash