Exclusive: Bimby KalerQUI and His Predictions for 2013

It's 2013! Another set of questions for our distinguished Twitter Parody Account. Now we have the first "normal" son of Krizzy KalerQUI, Bimby KalerQUI.

Let's see what @bimby_kalerQUI has in store for us this Year of the Snake!

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1. What is your New Year's Resolution?

Well, MOM was afraid that because I make pahirap YAYA all the time she might make reklamo because of the Kasambahay bill. So, I promised MOM na I will be kind to YAYA. And because kuya JOSH is like so payat na now, I promised not to make talon-talon on his belly like a trampoline na. Hehehehehe.  

2. Are there any significant changes on your Parody Account?

Well, my followers might've noticed I make lait-lait MOM's show recently (especially her and tito Robin’s acting). I need an outlet kasi with YAYA eh, so it's MOM I'm making away. Hehehehe. Other than that, I'm, like, still the same as before.

3. What have you learned in the past year? Did you make new friends? How about enemies?

Well, I learned that Pluto isn't a planet anymore. Does that count? Hehehehehe. I like ate dmajaderatoo and ate @CelAscorbicAcid. Ate Maja kasi is, like, so tyaga with reading tweets, while ate Celine's username makes me laugh, and because their personalities on twitter is the reverse of their personalities on Ina, Kapatid, Anak. Seriously, ate Celine is more mataray and ate Maja is more tweetums. As for enemies, I had an early debate with AsiasTweetybird about the US Gun culture, as well as those who make away me kasi I found Sisterakas' cheap humor...well...cheap pero other than that, no enemies. Hehehehe.

4. Any message to your fans, followers, and/or bashers?

Well just keep following me tweeps, whether you're a hater or a fan. Hehehehehehehe.

5. How do you want Twitterverse to remember you this year?

As the cutest Twitter Heckler in existence. Hehehehehehe. And probably the country’s littlest cosplayer…after ate @RyzzaChaChaCha.

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1. Are you happy that the RH Bill is now RH Law? Why or why not?

Ermagherd, that's the one the Church keep making parinig in homilies, right? I don't get it, why does OUR Church keep saying na anti-RH is the will of God eh I didn't hear the actual POPE say anything about it? Are they saying that God is scatter-brained and his ideals are different depending on the country? It's like so kabobo huh. I'm happy it's a Law na kasi it will help lessen overpopulation. Saka people like YAYA who can't afford to make bili super mahal contraceptives like the sort MOM keeps in her purse palagi can afford it now na diba?

2. Are you in favor of the Sin Tax Law? Do you think it is effective?

Errrr...... not sure. Is that the law where sinners are taxed? Like if you're a Senator and you make kopya the speech of a US President or a blogger, or if you're a Senate President and you make kurakot the money and then bribe fellow senators to make them sunod-sunod your will, or if you're a Policeman who likes to make baril-baril people in Checkpoints? If not, I don't care much about it, YAYA naman makes nguya nganga instead of making hithit cigarettes and MOM drinks red wine and stuff. Hehehehehe.  

3. What is your take on the Kasambahay Law?

Hay naku, YAYA keeps using that as panakot to me and MOM. Pero I think it's nice kasi at least there's a law na that will protect the other servants....err.... Household Help out there. I just wish they're more.... vigilant in making patupad this law kasi I think some people are still not following eh. Basta MOM and I we make sure YAYA has SSS, Philhealth, and even a Memorial plan noh. Hehehehehe.

4. Should the Freedom of Information Bill be passed this year? Why?

Well, can you wait muna for the elections to make tapos? Kasi tito Noynoy is, uhm, making adjustments pa to the national budget to....uhm..... "help" team PNoy eh. The FOI will not retroactively check naman misused funds or something diba? Hehehehe.

5. Who will you vote for in this year's Senatorial/Mid-term Elections? Why? 

Well.... last election I accidentally yelled out "Villar", but this time I can say it without impunity! Yey!!!!  


1. Which is the best telco/network operator: SMART, Globe, SUN? Why?

I'm not so sure anymore. @krizzy_kalerQUI keeps saying she's a SMART user pero MOM naman has a GLOBE commercial. It's, like, so gulo huh.

2. What is your favorite smartphone brand/model and why?

Wahehehehe, it's Cherry Mobile kasi tita Anne Curtis looks cute in the commercial.

3. If you can invent a whole new device/gadget/piece of technology, what would it be?

Well….. I’d like to invent a time machine. Pero I don’t want to make biyahe to the past and make bago-bago events. Kasi that might disrupt history. I’d like to go to the future, make nakaw some future technology, and then bring them back and introduce them as Filipino inventions. Oh diba? Hehehehehe.

4. Where do you usually hang-out? Where can we most likely see you?

The PSG kasi are always nakabantay so I can’t make gala much, so I just make tambay sa house, or in MalacaƱang, or I make sama with MOM wherever they make gala. We spent nga the New Year in LA.
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5. Why do you think is it more fun in the Philippines?

Kasi I live here eh. Hehehehehehe.


1.What is the best TV network: ABS-CBN, GMA 7, or TV 5? Why?

I’d say it’s between ABS-CBN and GMA7. ABS-CBN is rich and has malaking operations pero diba GMA has bigger net profits per year? And, not all Kapamilya shows are good, just like not all Kapuso shows are bad. I’m annoyed by people who are those so-called “fantards” of either network, I think it makes people stupid and narrow-minded.

2. Which celebrity do you think will make it big this year? Why?

I think Gerald Anderson will make it big this year….a big a$$ of himself. Hehehehehehe. I just hate that guy after he made loko ate Sarah G. Kaya pala tita Divine made bawal their relationship kasi of Gerald’s womanizing reputation which was proven even before that Kim-Maja thing. As for his issue with ate Kim and Maja, MOM told me to not make pansin daw kasi it’s just a publicity stunt. Pero that’s a secret daw ha, don’t make chismis about it! Hehehehe.

3. Who is your ultimate celebrity crush and why?

Hehehehe, I’m too young pa for that noh! Pero I happen to think that Zaijian is cute….err…I mean Xyriel pala. Hehehehehehe.

4. Who is the most obnoxious celebrity we have today? Why?

Well….me of course! Hehehehe.

5. Can you tell us a well-kept showbiz secret that many of us don't know?

Well….if you promise to not make chismis about this ha? Tito Robin and MOM made plano the whole tampo-tampo thing of tita Marielle as a publicity stunt to help Kailangan Ko’y Ikaw AND Wowowillie, kaso they didn’t anticipate the negative reaction of peeps. Ayun, tito Robin made galit-galit tuloy and make banta those bashers of tita Marielle. Kala nya ha. Eh what if I showed up there kasi I bashed din tita Marielle? Will he make suntok-suntok me? I’ll have him shot by the PSG noh! Hehehehehe.

twitter parody account

------------------------------------------------Q&A ENDS HERE-----------------------------------------------

I would like to thank Bimby Kalerqui for answering my Exclusive Q&A.

If you can't get enough of Bimby Kalerqui, follow him on Twitter @bimby_kalerQUI.

Til then...

xoxo Nash 


dmajaderatoo said...

NakakaLOWka! Infer aa hnd ako.masyadong DINUGO ahihihu. Soo funny....... Bonggels!

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